What human relationship. Eric Berne (1996; Cacho, Kawi and

What is communication? Communication, as defined by
the Meriam-Webster dictionary is an act or process of using words, sounds,
signs, behaviors to express or exchange information to express ideas, thought,
feelings etc. to someone else. A one form of the latter is talking.
Communication, with its other form establishes human relationship.

Eric Berne (1996; Cacho, Kawi and Versoza) proposed
that the 4 communication styles: assertive, passive, aggressive and loving
depicts the ego states. An open family has an inclination of developing and
maintaining lifestyle that accentuates communication, patience and willingness
to reach out others. It falls under adult ego, which fosters assertive
communication style (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2000). If communication is
fabricated with conflicting statements that prevent other people from feeling
good about themselves, the critical parent ego state occurs which that results
to an aggressive communication style. According to Berne, (1966), the child-ego
state supports passive style of communication and is considered as felt concept.
A felt concept develops a pattern to avoid expressing their feelings or
opinions, which protects themselves. The nurturing ego state promotes loving
communication style. The parent/s who exercise this kind of communication style
tends to be protective and available for their children. Under transactional
analysis, the ego states developed to know the consistent observable behaviors
(Berne, 1957).

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Parents are one of the most significant influences
in child’s behavior (Boateng and Cleveland, 2014). The child’s perception of
the world is shaped by the way their parents communicate to them. Parents who
support their children are achievement-chaser. They are the ones who see the
capacity in themselves of being really good as to what they can do. On the
other hand, parents who don’t give and/or show support their children have hard
time achieving their aspirations.  They constantly
feel that they are not smart or good enough. (Crandall and Katvosky, 1965).

In the Philippine setting, the parent-child
relationship is difficult to explain because of the factors that affect the
resident. According to Mendez and Jocano (1975) the differences in religion,
culture and education adds up to the feature. However, in spite of the
dissimilarities, the relationship between the Filipino parent/s and their child
possesses a condition of stability in keeping up with their family. Discipline is
the common theme used by the Filipino parents to avoid acts of disobedience
that can result to physical punishment. 74% of the Filipinos support this kind
of disciplinary action (Lansford et. Al. 2010). In the words of Alampay (2013) this
theme expresses an authoritarian style of parenting.

Parent’s communication style and
Resiliency of Adolescent

            The
adolescent stage is where a young person develops into an adult. Physical
developments become visible because of puberty. 
   An adolescent’s emotional
development is often characterized with certain clashing of emotions. He or she
demands for independence and yet would still feel unsure about leaving the
safety and security at home. The intellectual development of the individual
starts to broaden. As to social development, external factors such as peers are
one of the reasons why teenagers sometimes feel confused and conflicted
(Oswalt, 2010). The information cited implies that the adolescent stage can be
a pool of overwhelming emotions, unpredictable situation etc. in which the
involvement of the parents is important and must be attainable.

When an adolescent begun to recognize their identity
and is able to make a decisions for him/herself, communication between he/she
and the parents must be openly and firmly established. The certain bond helps
adolescent know how he/she would feel about the changes that may come along the
way. It is also an effective way of teaching how to be sensitive to others (Grotevant
and Cooper, 1986). The parent’s style of communication greatly affects their
relationship towards their children. In the words of Maximo (2011) it becomes a
representation on how their attachment is formed, together with its level of
intimacy. According to Adams and Gullota, (1983) Trust and commitment are some
of the two characteristics that attributes intimacy; it also indicates the need
to have someone to lean on and to openly share their feelings with.

When it comes to communication, adolescents prefer an
assertive and a loving-style from their parents. Adolescents have the ability
to lean on more to their parents who uses the above- mentioned style because of
the positive impact it gives. Communication that promotes a lot of warmth and
care is perceived by the adolescents as loving style while the one that
promotes connection towards each other is viewed as an assertive style of
communication (Maximo, 2011). Meanwhile, adolescents would less likely go for
an aggressive and passive style of communication because of the insecure and
dismissing feeling attached to it.

In the Philippines setting, according to Mendez and
Jocano (1975) it is a fact that Filipinos value their families and so, adolescents
view their parent’s style of communication as a loving nurturing and protective
one for the family.

                Resilience is the individual’s ability to cope with challenges
and in difficult situation or conditions.  In order to succeed in coping with the
negative trajectories, resilience has 2 main key requirements. The presence of
risk and promotive factors are needed, because it helps to carry out either
positive outcome or reduce negative outcome (Fergus & Zimmerman, 2005).

            In
order to manage the promotive factors in the presence of risk, Fergus &
Zimmerman, (2005) Garmezy et. al (1984) Masten, et al, (2007) develop the three
basic theoretical Models; compensatory, protective and challenge, to reduce
negative outcome.

Relationship is important foundation for the youth
in building independent living skill. Filipino adolescent is part of the
country’s future development.  However,
based on the recently conducted youth survey( National youth commission)
reported that the Filipino adolescent  is
apparently involve in different social problems such as drug addiction  and school dropout (Pena& Alampay et. al
, 2003). With that kind of news, open and firm established relationship and supports
must be accessible for the adolescent

 Asian
countries in general, subscribe to the idea of collectivism (Biddle, 2014). The
Filipino adolescent conceptualized support as a hands on support such as
providing personal assistance meaning ,for them support is an expressive care,
concern and protection( Fernandez, 2011). On the other hand western country
promotes independence and individuality because they show their support by
physical and verbal (Uba, 1994).

In the concept of the Filipino adolescent about
support, communication is also involved. Filipino adolescents perceived their
parents as Nurturing and caring kind of parent/s  that use assertive or loving style of
communication, base of the information of the review and related literature
above, the characteristics of being a supportive parent/s , based on a Filipino
adolescent’s point of view, they must  be
hands on in providing the care that they need, must be assertive to feel the
connection between the parent and the child, (Fernandez, 2011).